Previous days to climbing the volcano I was really nervous because I had never done anything like that. The closest activity to pursuing an expedition was going to Nevado de Colima with my coach and team who saved me from dying because I slipped on the ice and his leg literally held my frame plus my super strong arms( that’s a joke, the arms) strong enough to hold me and not die . That was about 3 years ago. The altitude of this Nevado is 4250 meters above sea level or 13,973 ft.

The one we were going to do was the Iztaccihuatl at 5,230 meters or 17343 feet above sea level. So, if you’re pretty new to this I wouldn’t consider that an easy quest. Turns out that because of COVID they closed it. Three days before the scheduled climb I was told that we were going to climb el Pico de Orizaba instead. The highest peak in Mexico and peak number 7 by most prominence at 5636 meters or 18491 ft above sea level, NOT-BIG-DEAL

Pico it is then! Wonderful! Everytime I am about to do something I have no idea about (so pretty much everything) I don’t allow any negative thoughts to navigate through my mind as in not allowed to say “I can’t do this, I’m gonna fail, I am so inexperienced etc” However, I do tell myself it’ll be hard and that I will do it

DAY ONE

I was just worried about two things: One that my brand new boots would get a good grip and two my ability to breathe well when in altitude.Our guides took us on an acclimatization walk at about 3,600 Mts above sea level very similar to El Desierto de Los Leones in Mexico City. Both of those felt great at the given circumstances so that definitively made me feel a little less nervous.

Ever since I was little I got used to doing a lot of things on my own. My dad passed away when I was six so my mom became the breadwinner and we had to figure some things on our own. I enjoy doing solo trips, hikes, long-runs, watching a movie and I am completely okay with it. I also do love spending time with my loved ones and meeting new people of course. But this time I had the best company I could ask for. My brother Alex invited me to hike/climb this mountain along with my other brother Andres, Juan Carlos, Chuy and of course our wonderful guides Faby, Lorenzo y Julio. It is safe to say that I felt more protected, cared for, and just really grateful to share this experience with my family and friends.

My two older brothers Alex, Andres and myself

I would like to call this picture "se me calman". Faby is sharing some basic guidelines such as not passing our guides on the actual expedition, not to go as fast as we did during our little hike because there was just no way we would make it to the top at the same pace.

We slept at the "Oso's Hostel' which just made the experience a lot more enjoyable and comfortable . As soon as we got back from our beautiful hike we had a meeting to learn how to put on the crampons and to give us all the necessary instructions and equipment for the next day. As soon as our meeting ended the hostel had ‘linner’(lunch/dinner) ready for us which consisted of a fresh chicken breast with beans and rice. We then made the final preparations for the Odyssey hoping it wouldn't end up as one. Faby and Julio helped me out with my outfit selection. Because of course when you hire them you get the whole package, styling is included. Our guides just wanted to make sure we would wear the most appropriate layers, footwear, accessories, nutrition and not carry any less or extra of anything for safety purposes.

Juan Carlos and my brother Andres have been friends since they were kids. We love how fun and crazy he is which made the hike a lot more enjoyable.

We were advised not to carry a water bladder because it would freeze making it impossible to drink from it . I just bought two liters of water from the store and used that instead. Contrary to what’s on the internet in regards to taking medicine to help with altitude sickness Faby advised us not to take any kind of painkillers as it would make it more challenging for them to help us out since some of the symptoms may not be exposed. Also, sometimes medicine changes its effect at higher than 3100 meters. So, it was hors de question to take any kind of medicine. This evening was my kind of Christmas Eve except with about 2-3 hours of sleep. Before going to bed I finished reading the Book of Mormon: I said my little prayer and reflected on how challenging yet packed with meaningful experiences 2020 was for me like the one I was about to encounter.

Faby organizing all the equipment to be distributed.

DAY TWO

Alarm went off at 11 pm . The excitement was very much present. My two siblings and I were telling local jokes and just teasing each other. To be clear, Alex was teasing me with one of my jokes. Typical of him. For breakfast I had a piece of pound cake, chamomile tea, cookies and a petite banana. I have always struggled with IG problems so I have to be very careful on the food I consume. Just before heading out my two siblings and I knelt down at the edge of one of the beds in our rustic dormitory and said a prayer. I felt comforted and maybe a tad emotional that we were going to do it together and that the three of us were excited about it. It's moments like this that I cherished the most. We don't get to spend much time together mostly because I am a nomad. We left the Hostel between 12:30 - 1 am in two different trucks. The path reminded me of a time when my friend Kaitlin, her husband and handsome little boy got stuck in the middle of nowhere at night with no cell service. Just like last time I was praying that we wouldn't get stuck because that would be terrible not to get to the start of our expedition. As we were driving I could see the temperature going down as we got closer. Fortunately by the time we arrived to El Refugio it only got down to -2 degrees.

Julio adjusting my harness to make sure I don't die.

At 2:00 am we were underway thrilled to be enjoying a sumptuous sky filled with the brightest stars I had ever seen. We were a bit agitated when we started but then felt better as we kept going. Juan Carlos always cracks the best jokes and definitely was grateful he was making us laugh along the way. Juan Carlos was also in front of me and said “ go ahead of me, no me gusta que me estén pisando los talones'' which made us all laugh. He probably didn’t want to hear my breathing. Naturally, I went ahead and we continued going up at a good pace.

Ready to go!

One of my siblings Andres wasn't feeling at its best. The Altitude was getting to him. Everyone was trying to give him words of encouragement so he kept going like a champ. We had only been hiking for about an hour when we took our first minute break. We kept on climbing and got to a part where my hands started feeling cold. I started moving them and shaking them as fast as I could to help my blood circulate.

Alex waited for Andres while he was struggling at the beginning.

Andres " I was getting very discouraged at the beginning because I couldn't catch my breath and it felt as if the group was going a lot faster. I just needed to go at my own pace. Alex then waited for me along with one of our guides Lorenzo. Alex and I started singing hymns. He knew exactly what kind of words of encouragement I needed to hear. Somehow I started feeling better and we were all able to make it to the top".

We had done about 2 hours of climbing, stopped at the “labyrinth” where we got our fancy crampons on. Chuy and Julio helped me with it as well and we all got them perfectly tied up. As soon as I gave my first steps with the crampons the grip felt exceptional until we went through a small icy part and I was like F my life which then was replaced with a you’re okay you can do this ! I felt more confident afterwards and of course could not have done it without wearing the crampons. The grip was still exceptional but my mind was playing fear games.

Our dear friend Chuy. He was always so positive and patient even when I got all anxious.

At about 5:00 am we arrived at the Glacier Base Camp “ Base del Glaciar de Jamapa” at about 4,900 mts 16,100 above sea level. I took my backpack off to reach for my windbreaker and thicker gloves. The wind was definitely blowing harder so we needed to be very careful with our gear not to fly away. I sat down on a rock to organize myself when I heard an interesting noise. I turned around and saw the cutest mice I have ever seen! Way prettier than the ones in the New York subway.(TBH New York rats are atrocious) It might’ve been the first time that I thought mice were actually charming.

Some of us grabbed a snack from the lunch Faby kindly packed while we were at the glacier basecamp. We could all barely eat anything but we knew we needed it . I think it was one of the longest times it took me to chew a bite of a PB&J . I also took advantage of that break to adjust my helmet but was really struggling with it. By the time I had put my stuff down and got ready to leave my hands got instantly cold again making it hard to adjust my helmet. Memo(my sister-in-law’s brother) took his gloves off and gave me his PB&J to hold so you can only imagine what happened to his hands right? By the time he adjusted my helmet his hands got really cold. I had also accidentally packed his PB&J in my backpack when I was putting all my things away, whoops! Memo then asked me for his PB&J, only to find out that I had packed it along with the rest of my stuff. I told him he could have mine, but he refused kindly. He didn’t want me to be left out with anything to eat which says a lot about the kind of gentleman he is. So, poor Memo went up without much food.I am sorry Memo!! We didn’t have much time left since we needed to get roped in groups of three to hike the glacier .

When you realize you won't be eating your PB&J.

Faby tied Chuy at the end and myself in the middle. Faby knew it was my first time doing something like this so she thought it would be best for me to just use the hiking poles instead of the ice ax in the glacier which I am glad I did. Up until this very basecamp I was feeling great. But I knew that it was only gonna get harder and needed to be mentally prepared for it. Right before we started climbing up the glacier our professional guide said “ ahora si viene lo bueno” “The best is yet to come'' . Don’t take anything lightly when your professional guide says something.

We had about 600 meters left to reach the summit when my stomach started hurting, and then my head, my feet and my back. I tried telling myself that I was fine that I could do it until I got tired of saying that. The moment I allowed my negative thoughts to linger on my mind my pain multiplied by a million. I had major headaches, I wanted to throw up the PB&J I had eaten and my whole body was just extremely exhausted.

Oxygen levels at altitude chart

Faby then stopped and asked very firmly if I was okay? To which I replied with a “No, I’m just tired, everything hurts to which she responded “ This is a critical time, this is a time to make hard decisions, (you know how much I love to make instant hard decisions, especially at an elevation of 5,000 meters) this is a time to decide if you can keep going or no because this is the time to go back if we need to, there’s still a LONG way to go”. I said “really?” I was thinking about it and said in a very weak voice to keep going a little bit slower and that I could keep trying. So we went up very slowly. I COULD NOT feel my face, it’s about the only time I could relate to The Weekend, wonder if he also climbed a mountain when he wrote that song? hmm...

I felt as if I was running right after a marathon, just pure pain. My feet were incredibly sore from pounding the ice with the crampons. We kept making turns to take a deep breath and not just go straight up. I kept praying to Heavenly Father to give me strength. There were some words that came to my mind from a certain saying “ you’re so weak” which was also the fuel to my fire. So, Thank you! But seriously, I was thinking about Chuy and Faby .I didn’t want them to have to go back down because of me. I knew I needed to change my attitude, I needed to change my attitude. Thinking about others, the summit, and reminding myself I needed to change my attitude was ultimately what made me keep going along with the prayers of course. Now that I have time to look back and reflect on it. It makes me think that sacrifices must be made for other people in order to bring more meaning and joy to others. I don’t have as many opportunities to carry a heavy burden and make sacrifices for others since I don’t have children nor am I married. I know you don’t need to be married or have kids to have these opportunities but I believe being in those situations brings daily opportunities, perhaps every other hour or minute.

Jordy took this picture from the volcano's lip. You can see Faby, myself and Chuy.

We finally arrived at the lip of the volcano and I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to cry. I also entered into an anxiety crisis. I threw myself to the ground backwards haha. It makes me laugh now and suddenly my hands started aching and burning. I started freaking out because of it. It wouldn’t go away there was no way to warm up those hands I mean I was wearing everything I needed. And my mom was not gonna come and bring me some hot tea. Faby the prof guide told me to take deep breaths. I was literally crying like a baby about the fact that my hands were burning and I could do anything about it but to take deep breaths. We had just like 20 more meters to go up not sure how many to be honest which I was a baby about too. This time I kept going faster because I wanted to make it to the peak. I took deep breaths, changing. my attitude once again and started feeling better.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Minutes later we finally got to the actual peak!!! We freaking did it! I was really glad we had made it. The wind was blowing fiercely, the sun was finally out. We could see the shadow of the volcano reflected on the sky. The shadow was bigger than I could comprehend at that point. I felt a little bit of vertigo looking down and how steep it was. We were the last ones to arrive at the summit in 5 hours and 30 minutes. Andres, the one who was struggling at the beginning along with Alex and Lorenzo were the first ones. Then, the second group was Julio, Jordy and Memo. By the time we had arrived they were all taking pictures. Honestly, that was THE last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t even get my cell phone out. I just needed to fuel my body again and be near the sun.

I wanted to go back to the lip because the sun was facing that area more and the wind wasn’t as strong but turns out that we were not gonna go back that way so my only choice was to stay there at the peak where the wind was hitting harder ...I finally managed to overcome my anxiety and took control of my mind, enjoyed my two bites of my Turkey Sandwich with Hummus.

Andres took 99% of these pictures, we love you!

Life and Mountains

As I was living this expedition I realized that life is like hiking a mountain.

Friends, family or just the nice person at the grocery store that smiles make part of the people we share life with. When we are solely on our own it is harder to navigate through life. I believe this also happens while hiking a mountain. As I had previously mentioned we were roped in groups of three. It is highly recommended for safety purposes to be roped in that fashion plus it's comforting to know that you are all working towards the same goal. If I had I just thought about my suffering and let it consume me, we would have had to go back down and none of us would have reached the summit that day. We were in it together. Being part of a team, a community, a relationship of any kind truly makes us grow as individuals and as a team because it pushes us to give more than we could give to just ourselves, it gives us a deeper meaning on why we do or we need to do certain endeavors.

"God rarely moves the mountains in front of us, but he always helps us climb them." - Sheri Dew

7:00 am

By making sacrifices for others we are enlarging our spectrum rather than just limiting it to ourselves. Sacrificing magnifies our capability to love others and ourselves. Sometimes making sacrifices could create a little bit of discomfort , pain or suffering just like it did to hike el Pico. The second I would forget the why of climbing El Pico it's when suffering became more evident. But once we endured that pain we got to enjoy magnificent views, stronger relationships with our loved ones or create new relationships.

“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

I believe Chuy dropped one of his gloves while we were hiking the glacier but he still made it to the top.

Jordy also dropped one of his poles while hiking which we found later on our way back

If you know Alex you know how passionate and competitive he is when it comes to his profession and any other area he might be interested in . This time he chose family instead of trying to be the first one. He is one kind brother.

Life is also like hiking a mountain because some parts of it are more enjoyable than others. Some parts are very hard and others seem like there’s no end to the challenge. Sometimes it gets so hard that you don’t know if you’ll be able to get through the challenges because of the pain that is felt, and we feel so weak or with little faith left that is hard to fathom how to overcome our trials . Sometimes challenges remain there and life just gets harder and harder or it gets steeper and steeper like climbing a mountain .It is intricate to even breath, the oxygen level demeanishes or our faith is weakened. Even if we are aware that Heavenly Father can easily help us to move those mountains in our lives if it’s his will it is still complex to keep going forward because we are experiencing pain at the moment. But what if Heavenly Father leaves mountains unmovable? How can we have hope and faith that It’ll be okay if that is the case?

Perhaps, holding onto that faith and hope is all we need. While in the glacier I knew that whether I decided to go back down or continue to the top the mountain would still be there. The only thing I had control of was my own body. The mountain was not going to magically disappear. Last time I talked to my mom she didn’t mention anything about purchasing a helicopter. I won’t lie, I did fantasize about the helicopter coming to rescue me but that would take forever and I would die of hypothermia. So, that was not a choice. I just had another private little chat with myself and told myself that I had chosen to hike this volcano/mountain. Before I even started hiking the mountain the goal was yes to not die and to make it to the top. I held onto that little hope, strength, faith and energy I had left and used it to keep taking one step in front of the other!

Finding meaning in life requires sacrifice, requires effort, requires tears , requires a freaking strong mind. Yes, we came to this earth to have experiences that lead to joy but I don’t think God ever said that our ultimate purpose on this earth is our happiness . Our guides never said that hiking el Pico would be a piece of cake either. Sure, He wants us to be happy but that’s not the ultimate purpose otherwise we would just be looking for pleasure, and never ending happiness on this earth is not attainable. We might have goals and projects but once we achieve them we go back to zero and start all over again. We face losses, we lose things or relationships and we face mountains or challenges along this journey. Hiking El Pico was not all about daisies and roses. Sometimes, it was pure joy and sometimes it was just plain painful. But of course we also experience moments of happiness and the mix of both of those is what makes us grow and be more appreciative. Just think about it. When was the last time you felt like your world was falling apart or that you felt so much pain? And now think about all that you had to go through to overcome it. Think of who you were then and who are you today? You see? You got through it and that itself is HUGE! Now think about your progress. Perhaps, you are able to forgive more easily, to love unconditionally, to understand yourself better, to work harder, to pause for a moment, to be more grateful, to be more present etc..

To me hiking El Pico was definitely a source of finding more meaning in my life. Because I knew that mountain was still gonna be there regardless of my choice. I chose to move forward. I chose to suck it up and woman up because there were two other individuals besides myself. I chose to keep going up because I knew that if only I endured a little more we were all eventually gonna get to the top. I wanted to use the energy I had left at that point to go up not to bring myself or others down. And, as I say this it makes me realize how many times have we used our last bit of energy only to go backwards, to be so divided, to argue, to complain, to victimize ourselves? Because it does require some energy to do it. If only we would use that last bit to pursue our goals, our dreams or habits, helping others out instead of judging each other (I am guilty of that) how much better and fulfilled our lives would be?

Five More Minutes...

We didn’t spend a lot of time at the top.It is very easy to get cold faster there, especially if we were mostly static or at least I was since the rest were just taking pictures, like the one you see above. It was now time to descend the glacier. I was just hoping I would not end up rolling down the peak. Going downhill is always the scariest thing for me to do wether I am cycling or hiking. Thankfully Faby was there to show me how to descend. She was sort of leaning back and squatting a bit, anchoring the heel part of the crampons while descending so that’s what I tried to do to not fall down. Legs were feeling very very fatigued by the time we were past the labyrinth and from there until the Piedra Grande where the hike starts felt like an E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y!

Lorenzo wins the price for being so patient.

In the last thirty minutes I felt zero strength. I got the headaches back and my shoulders were burnt out. And poor Lorenzo he was waiting on me. He said “we just have to get to Piedra Grande it’s just like a 5 minute walk from here” Me- “Are you sure? Because I know that sometimes people say that to trick our minds so that we do keep going” Lorenzo- “ I am serious we are almost there” Me- “Ok, if this is really true, you’ll be my hero” and So he was my hero! We had officially finished our expedition ALIVE!

I am grateful for my two siblings Alex and Andres, my friends/family Memo, Juan Carlos a.k.a Jordy , and Chuy and our wonderful guides again Faby, Lorenzo and Julio. I could not have made it without them. But mostly so grateful to Heavenly Father who created this glorious earth with volcanoes for us to enjoy, feel pain and learn from these experiences just like we do in this sublime and crazy thing called LIFE!. To more challenges and mountains in our lives!